Entering Airy Fairy Land

November 03, 2017 5 Comments

Entering Airy Fairy Land

My Dad is a steak and beer, rugby and racing kinda guy. We don’t really talk about emotions or any of that fluffy stuff. Love him heaps but we don't really talk about it. A hug and a slap on the back kinda thing.

This is why I was really surprised when he called and told me about a doctor and to keep an open mind. Some people at his work had talked about it and it had “cured” their eczema. This instantly made me suspicious and the “cured” part took me into “whatever” mode. But he said to keep an open mind and look into it, then make an appointment.

I did and it came back with the fact they use applied Kinesiology and believe in the whole mind-body connection. The website blurb goes “In treatment, we use gentle chiropractic adjustments of the spine, jaw, shoulders, arms, hands, pelvis, legs and feet, cranial corrections and orthotics. To complement balance of the mind and body we also use complex homoeopathy and nutrition to promote wellness and good health.”

So I rang my Dad back and said to him “do you know what these guys do?!” Dad responded with just give it a try and with an open and sceptical mind I said maybe.

I am a logical guy in my thinking and like logical solutions. I am also getting tired of being a human guinea pig as the mainstream medical fraternity trial things “that might work” without much commitment to it actually working. I also know I had minimal eczema, scratching and inflammation symptoms for over a decade and then it changed. It dove into a deep spiral and nobody I have spoken to knows why. Maybe, somewhere between cold evidence-based medicine and touchy-feely aura’s and stuff, there is a balance. A window where mind, body, soul and science can stabilise me and we can get back to where my skin should be. maybe? So I made an appointment.

I rocked up early as I had a massive list of things to tick off and paperwork to sort as it was my first appointment. It looked like a standard doctors rooms in a converted house. A child played with toys and some people chatted.

I finally met Donna and we had a brief chat. Soon after I was asked to lie down fully dressed. I had been asked to bring all my lotions and potions I use with me and so I lugged in a backpack full. This is where things start to go a little weird. Open mind, Mike, open mind.

I was asked to raise my arm and keep tension. Then I made a statement, “I am a male” and resistance tested by pushing down on my arm. Then a false statement and resistance tested again. My arm turned out to be a built-in lie detector test as there was less resistance on the lie.

Then things shuffled to the deep end of the pool. The lotions and potions were placed one by one on my chest, my arm raised and out came a tuning fork! This was vibrated and placed on the medication individually placed on my chest and arm resistance tested again and again. This is weird stuff. Donna made some astute comments about the medications though. Comments like this one doesn't do much for you does it? Turns out I had stopped using it a few months ago because it was not greasy enough to keep my skin from drying out. 

I knew what was trying to be achieved with the resistance test and could see the medication, so I thought my subconscious might have taken over and staged the results. Open mind, Mike, open mind.

Next up was a box of substances in uniform containers. I could not see any labels. Out came the tuning fork and the resistance test. Turns out these were foods in the containers. Apparently dairy was no good. Wasn’t able to tolerate it as a child so that could make sense. Corn was apparently ok but gluten was another bad guy but I love bread and pasta etc. Last of all sugar was not great either. I had my suspicions about sugar but that sucks. I don’t really drink alcohol and sugar is my treat. My vice of choice. Open mind Mike, open mind.

None of these surprised me and I figured what is the worst that could happen? I miss out on a few pizzas and sugar-fuelled movie sessions. I have been through more restrictive diets and now that gluten-free is trendy, there are so many more options available. 

The session continued and flipped out a bit. I had to put my hands up like a high 5 then into a prayer palms together pose (all while still lying on the bed). Some bikelight things came out and hovered around my head, hips and tapped the bottom of my feet. I was repeatedly had some essence things squired in my mouth at regular intervals. A vibrating magnet thing repeated the brake light dance and we chatted.

We went through a series of ex-girlfriends names as there might have been a mental or emotional blockage or something. This bit made some sense to me but there was nothing there.  At this point it felt like I had walked into a psychic reading, fishing for reactions or connections. Apparently, i took a while to break down barriers or make a breakthrough to start treatment during the session or something? Open mind Mike, open mind.

At this point, out came a rubber glove and the inside of my mouth was pushed and prodded for a cranial realignment or something like that. Was not painful like it sounds or anything, just gentle pressure.

Finally, we resolved to meet in a week and try a diet without sugar, gluten and dairy. All of the essence spray bottles and my medications were packed away as we finished the treatment. Treatment was a funny choice of words I thought. Assessment maybe? Open mind Mike, open mind.

I came away $160 lighter but more in the middle than I expected. If somebody had told me that I would have had an armbar lie detector test, flashing lights, regular mouth sprays and played pattycake to work out my eczema I would have laughed at them. Yet, somehow I came out with my head buying into some of it. I am still on the fence. I don’t have to buy all of it but results are the main reason for coming. I will try the food elimination and see how it goes. Hopefully, it complements the dermatologist’s approach. Can’t hurt I guess.

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