It has taken some time, too long in fact. With the improvement in my skin, a heavy fog is lifting in my mind. Dark clouds are parting and some rays are coming through etc etc.
For far too long I have seen myself as a victim to my skin. This moment of clarity may not last but I certainly hope it does. I hope that when my skin dips into another flare it does not derail this new direction. I must remember there is an up, a sun above the clouds. I can wait for them to part or rise above them.
Something has caused my skin to flare. I have been running around in the weeds looking for it. Strangely enough, the collision of my latest flare up and the more open approach to dealing with it has been a big part of the mental turnaround. This has been parallel with the physical improvements. Add in the inspiration I received from the airy-fairy doctor’s visit that took me back to what I knew from my past when my skin was poor. This all has a familiar retro feel. It has a strangely comforting vibe that takes me back to being a child. Funky diets and food elimination. I hope it is not grasping at straws.
Maybe I am a person with an eating disorder, selectively choosing to avoid foods to create a feeling of control. To gain or create a handle on which to grapple back my clear skin.
I prefer to see it as an adventure. A chance to broaden my horizons. To break out of the status quo. As Einstein apparently said, “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results". I genuinely believe the body is the best tool to be able to fix itself. Yes, the body needs help from time to time from medicine to jumpstart past a hurdle or to hold up a corner.
I am on a mission to give my body the opportunity to stabilise. To fill it up with ample good stuff and eliminate any things that may make it wobble. The airy-fairy doctor said gluten, dairy and refined sugar may be candidates for intolerance. Big picture, what is the harm in removing these ingredients and seeing what happens. I know that I am allergic to nuts already. That one is clear. I also know that I used to be allergic to dairy, so why not during times of instability and heightened immune response that it becomes problematic again. Sugar is my weakness, my nemesis. This will be my Achilles heel.
I lie, gluten will be. I love my pasta and bread. I could have just eaten these two and been happy. Very little is as welcoming and delicious as a freshly baked loaf of bread. Esp with cheese and bacon on top or through it. Yum.
We went out last night and bought a Nutribullet blender so Millie and I could have smoothies. What a cool concept. Never really had smoothies before because I always associated it with dairy. How wrong I was.
I have made a couple of smoothies. They were not great but certainly edible. A lot of playing to come yet I think. A great way to pack in heaps of fibre, vitamins, fruits and veges. I also have a slightly different pallet of foods to build meals from but it is not difficult. I think it will just involve being a bit more organised. It will also encourage more diversity in the dinners we eat. I think it will involve more thought and pride when it comes to cooking.
At this early stage, it looks like it will be a journey back to whole foods; meat, veges and salads. I personally think I will just avoid those problem foods rather than looking for gluten, dairy and sugar alternatives. I am cool with that. The difficulties will be when I am out and about and length of time to prepare. Will have to work on that one.
I am looking forward to feeling proactive and arming my body to fight, while also removing hindrances. I feel this is me taking control back. It feels right to get back to nature, to see and action the solutions, not to focus on my poor skin.